Thirty minutes after getting a rejection notice for a role I’ve been dreaming about for eight months, after sending a congratulatory email to my friend who earned the position, I called my mom — as any grown-ass woman does. I heard the familiar refrain, “don’t worry; something better will come along. You might not see it now, but this internship isn’t meant for you. You, my dear, are meant for greatness, and greatness will find you, accept you, and celebrate you.”
At the moment, her affirmations made me feel lighter, like a tender virtual hug, but do “something better will come along” statements cause harm?
I am bold, warm, enthusiastic, ambitious, gracious, and I break glass ceilings while strutting through rubble in spiked red stilettos. Yet, this drive for excellence has often led me to think about what is coming down the track next. Thus, when opportunities came to interview for internships that were merely tangential to my interests rather than fully aligned, I turned them down. I stood by for the perfect fit. I grinned and took comfort in my mother’s words when what I saw as an ideal match did not reciprocate. Yet, wasn’t that a problem all along?
We often reject good in hopes of great. How often do innovators, professional investors, retail investors, and even bachelor contestants rebuff suitable in expectation of something superior? We’ve all heard “time in the market is more important than timing the market.” Nevertheless, many people hold cash for years because they fear a market correction and are waiting — and waiting — to “buy the dip.” Investors see thousands of pitches, but committing is daunting because tomorrow a more attractive opportunity may be in their inbox. Homebuyers have trouble making offers because tomorrow the “perfect” house may come onto the market. How many people in relationships are anxious that they settled and are looking for a worthier match?
There is a balance between diligently going after your dreams versus blooming where you are planted. Byron Katie encourages us to “love what is” because wishing for the present to be different only causes us pain. On the other hand, no one changed the world by accepting the status quo. Perhaps “something better will come along,” but more likely, if I wait for it, I will miss the opportunity in front of me. You weren’t born to linger in the wings of your life. The future is now. What are you going to do about it?
